Finding My Way Home
by crrlmoore
Summary: All Human. Bella never wanted to leave Forks with Renee after their divorce and her life is miserable in Phoenix. The only thing she has to look forward is her summers spent with Charlie but her only happiness is threatened one year and her mother's husband Phil does something that makes Bella flee into the arms of her best friend.
1. Prologue

**I had the idea for this story and just started writing. Please let me know if you guys like it and if I should continue.**

**Twilight and its characters are property of Stephanie Meyer**

Prologue

"Mom do you have my tickets? What time I am leaving tomorrow?" I asked excitedly the moment I stepped in the door from my last day of school. Every year I would leave the first day of summer break to live with my father in Forks Washington until the fall. It was the highlight of my year. I couldn't wait to get back to my father Charlie and most importantly my best friend Jacob. Our parents were best friends and we've known each other since we were in diapers and I was devastated when my parents divorced and my mother took me away from everyone I loved. I was very young at the time but I remember the pain all too well. Jacob and I always kept in contact by letters or Billy would bring him over to Charlie's and he would call me. But it wasn't the same and we lived for the summer months when we could be together. I was already packed and could barely sit still.

"You're staying home this summer Bella." My mother said and it was like her words knocked the wind out of me. No! This couldn't be happening.

"What?" I stuttered.

"With Phil being out of work we just can't afford to send you this year I'm sorry. Besides we thought it would be a good idea if you spent the summer at home for a change."

"Forks is my home! I never wanted to leave."

"Oh please. I know you love your father but that little hick town has nothing to offer you! I still don't know why love that place so much, I couldn't wait to get out of there. Wait a minute this is all about Billy's boy isn't it?"

"You know how close Jacob and I are. It's still hard to be away from him and Dad and my trips to Forks is the only thing I have to look forward to."

"I see what going here. This was cute when you two were little but you're older now and I think it's time you separate yourself from him. You're only sixteen and that's way too young to be so wrapped up in one boy-"

"This isn't just any boy Mom, this is Jacob. You know how much he means to me."

"That's it you are definitely not going." I stormed off to my room before the tears escaped my eyes. I didn't want her to see me cry. How could she do this to me? I didn't want to be here, I hated Phoenix and everything about it! It was too hot and I could barely breathe in the damn humidity. It was nothing but dry desert and it was way too far away from my best friend. I didn't fit in with the kids my age and my only ally was my older cousin Amber. I've always wanted to live with Charlie but my mother didn't let me because the courts awarded her full custody. "I'm leaving for work Bella we'll talk about this later when I get home."

"Bye Mom." I said bitterly not planning on listening to a word she had to say.

"Would you at least get up and make some supper for you and Phil?" Ugh he is your husband not mine. I thought to myself but remained silent and I heard the front door close. I hated being left alone with that pig. I didn't understand what my mother saw in him. He was a lazy bum who couldn't hold down a job. He was once a decent baseball player and was even in the minor league when my Mom met him but got kicked off his team because he was a drunk. And the way he looked at me gave me the creeps. He would undress me with his eyes and my mother would pretend not to notice. To her he could do no wrong and it made me sick. Once he even walked in on me when I was getting dressed and she blamed me saying I should've locked my door. I was hungry though so I reluctantly got up and starting preparing the chicken for a jambalaya. I felt another presence in the room and then Phil's arms were around me and I was repulsed by his smell and the liquor on his breath.

"What are you doing Phil? Let me go!" I struggled against him as his hands began to roam my body.

"Stop fighting you little slut I know you like it." He said grabbing my breast.

"Please stop, don't touch me!" I yelled as his hands starting rubbing my ass and I could feel his erection poking against me.

"I know why you're so anxious to get back to that boy. You're fucking him aren't you? Well if that's what you want you don't have to go to Washington for that I can give it to you right here." He said grabbing my hand and bringing it between his legs. I used the opportunity to my advantage and squeezed his little dick as hard as I could making him scream in pain.

"You sick bastard don't you ever put your filthy hands on me again!" I yelled and quickly went and got the bags I packed for the trip and took off out the front door. I had to get out of there. There was no way I could continue to stay under the same roof with this pervert. I already knew my mother would be on his side so I didn't twice about leaving her behind. I have never forgiven her for taking me away from my father. I moved as fast as my feet could take me, I didn't want to be anywhere near the house when Phil recovered. I saw a public transit bus coming and thankfully I had enough change on me for fare so I ran to the bus stop and hopped on. I rode until I was blocks away from my cousin's house so I got off and walked the rest of the way until I made it to her front door. I rang the doorbell praying she was home. I soon saw her green eyes peeking through her curtain.

"Bella?" She opened the door and quickly pulled me into a hug. "What are you doing here is everything okay?" She asked ushering me inside and locking the door.

"No everything is not okay!" I said frantically.

"What happened?"

"Phil molested me." It was hard to me to say that word but it was the only way for me to describe what he did to me. Amber looked appalled and pissed.

"Did you tell Renee?"

"She's at work. And why bother she's not going to care. I can't go back there Amber, I can't."

"You don't have to. You can stay here with me as long as you like." Amber was twenty two and lived on her own. She was my mother's niece but we looked like sisters except she was taller with green eyes and she wasn't pale like me.

"I need to get out of Phoenix can you help me?"

"What do you need me to do?"

"Can you drive me to Forks?"

"I'll be ready in twenty minutes."


	2. Chapter 1

**Twilight and it's characters are property of Stephenie Meyer**

**Sorry for the wait but I wrote a couple of drafts of this chapter before I was satisfied. FYI I decided to make Jacob and Leah the same age as Bella in this story. I would love to hear what you think so review pretty please.**

Chapter 1

_Jacob and I held on to each other for dear life and we were inconsolable. Our sobs seemed never ending and our fathers looked close to tears themselves while Renee just looked at us in contempt._

"_This is getting ridiculous Bella we need to go now." She said trying to pull me away from Jacob but that only made us tighten our grip on each other. She finally managed to separate us and she threw me over her shoulder while picking up the last of our luggage. _

"_Daddy please I don't want to go! I want to stay here with you, please don't let her take me! Daddy! Daddy!" I called out to him as she carried me towards the door and he could no longer hold back his tears. It was the first and only time I've seen my father cry and it made my heart ache even more. I grabbed a hold of the door frame as we stepped through the threshold and Jacob's little feet took off after us but Billy stopped him before he could get far. Renee pinched my bottom effectively making me release the door frame and she stepped through it taking me away from everything and everyone I loved._

"Bella! Bella wake up!" I was jolted awake from the terrible memory and it took me a minute to focus and remember where I was and what was going on. "You were screaming for Charlie did you have a nightmare?"

"Something like that."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm okay, it was just a bad dream." One that actually happened I thought to myself.

"Well try to go back to sleep we still have a few hours before we have to get back on the road." She said and settled back into her bed as her cell phone started to ring. "Oh shit it's your mother."

"Answer it and put it on speaker." I instructed. She obviously knew we were together so there was no sense in avoiding her calls.

"Hi Aunt Renee."

"Don't hi Aunt me where is my daughter Amber?" She looked at me and I nodded my head letting her know she could tell the truth. It was bad enough I put her in this situation I wasn't going to ask her to lie for me too even though I knew my cousin would do anything for me.

"She's with me."

"Bring her home, now."

"I can't do that."

"I will come over there and get her myself."

"We're not even in Phoenix anymore and I don't think I'd send her back to you even if we were." There was silence for awhile and we thought she'd hung up until she decided to speak again.

"If you take her to Forks I will have you arrested for kidnapping and custodial interference."

"Are you sure you want to go there? You're the one interfering with her summer visitation with her father."

"Bella? I know you're listening, why are you doing this?"

"I think you already know the answer to that Mom."

"What did you do to Phil? He says you attacked him to get out of the house."

"Would you listen to yourself? How could you even believe that a teenage girl who barely weights 115lbs soaking wet could attack a 6'2 300lbs grown man? You're a selfish bitch and you wonder why your daughter doesn't want to live with you anymore?" Amber ranted and hung up before things got really heated. It was impossible for me to fall asleep after that so I lay awake reliving the happy memories I had of Forks. Jake and I running on the beach hand in hand. Charlie tucking me in at night and reading me a story. Me in the Black's kitchen with Sarah getting cooking lessons while Billy taught Jake how to carve wood. Billy and Charlie taking us fishing and the bonfires at La Push. Jake and I sitting in his garage for hours with our lips glued together the summer after we shared our first kiss. Forks is where I belong and I couldn't wait to get back there.

* * *

"_You're insane Bells." Jacob said to me as I was taking off my socks and shoes. The water was calling to me and I couldn't resist going for a swim. It would be no fun alone so I came up with the perfect plan to get him to join me._

"_Call me what you want but I know you want to come with me." I teased while picking up a pile of sand and throwing it at him and it landed in his long silky hair. I laughed and took off running and of course he was right behind me._

"_You're so going to pay for that." He said picking me up and dunking me under the water. We played around in the Pacific getting soaked until I felt something brush against my leg._

"_Shark!" I screamed running out of the water. Once I made it back to shore I saw Jacob hadn't moved from his position but he was hunched over in laughter._

"_That is not funny Jacob Black!" I pouted when he finally stopped laughing and joined me on the beach. He looked at me and the amusement instantly left his face. In its place was an intense glare that I never seen before and it made my heart speed up and butterflies started fluttering in my stomach. I was used to him looking at me with affection and admiration but this was something entirely different. When I looked down at myself I suddenly realized what was going on. I was wearing a white t-shirt which was now completely transparent giving him a perfect view of my newly formed breast. My cheeks flushed red with embarrassment and my arms immediately crossed over my chest in an attempt to cover myself._

"_You never have to hide yourself from me Bells, you're beautiful." He said reaching out for my arms and dropping them to my sides. He leaned in and placed his lips to mine and my body tingled with unfamiliar sensations. It was by far the best moment of my life._

"You haven't said anything in hours, are you okay over there Bella?" Amber's voice brought me to the present.

"I'm fine, just thinking." I sighed.

"About him?" She glanced over at me and I nodded. "You're in love with him aren't you?"

"I've always loved Jacob." I answered quietly. Even at my young age I knew there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. Jacob and I have always shared a special bond but it's changed in nature as we matured and I knew there was more than friendly feelings there now but I just wasn't sure if we were in love. I've tried dating boys in Phoenix but none of them made me feel the way Jacob did and all I could think about was his kiss.

"I can tell by the way you talk about him that you're more than friends now."

"Yeah Renee saw it too, she never liked how close we are. She said she wasn't going to send me this year because they couldn't afford it but I think she was just trying to keep me away from him and Dad." I knew I was right and the thought made me angry. "I hate her."

"Now Bella I don't agree with her actions but she is still your mother and hate is such a strong word."

"I know." I admitted. "But I'm so upset with her right now Amber, and for her to imply that I did something to Phil when he was the one feeling me up infuriates me."

"Me too." She said leaving me alone in my thoughts again and I continued to relive the past.

_We were sitting in Charlie's living room playing Nintendo when the phone rang. Charlie went to answer it and I saw the color drain from his face as he listened intently._

"_What about Billy, how is he?" I heard him ask. "Tell him I'm sorry and not to worry Jake will stay here with us." Hearing his name finally forced his attention from the video game and he too looked over at my father wondering what was going on. He talked to the mysterious caller for a moment longer before hanging up and looking at us with sorrow in his eyes. He walked over to us and knelt in front of Jacob. _

"_Charlie what's wrong?" _

"_I'm so sorry Jake." He started and paused trying to find the right words. "There's been an accident. You're parents were on their way here to pick you up when a drunk driver slammed into their car." His voice became thick with emotion as he spoke his next words. "Sarah didn't make it she was killed instantly. I am so sorry son." Charlie pulled Jacob into a hug and when he released him he still hadn't spoken. It took a minute for his words to sink in but once they did Jake let out a heart wrenching wail and collapsed to the floor in tears. I was crying by now as well. Sarah was like another mother to me and I couldn't believe she was gone but I had to pull myself together for Jacob. I wrapped my arms around him and he cried on my shoulder._

That wasn't a pleasant memory but it did strengthen our bond and I was glad I was able to be there for him when it happened. It's been six years now but it hadn't gotten any easier and I knew he still missed his mother. It took Billy a long time to adjust to living his life in a wheelchair and even struggled with depression but with Charlie and Jacob's help he was back to being himself in no time. I looked at the highway signs as we zoomed past them.

"Where are we now Amber?"

"We're actually making good time. We crossed the Washington State border about two and a half hours ago and we're about 350 miles away from Forks."

"That's because you drive like a bat out of hell." She was always going at least 20 miles above the speed limit whatever it happened to be at the time.

"The sooner we get there the better. I don't want to have to spend another night in a crappy motel."

"We're lucky we haven't gotten pulled over."

"And if we did I'd just bat my lashes and flirt and make him forget what a speeding ticket is."

"What if it's a female cop?"

"I'll just have to hope she's a lesbian." She said and I couldn't help but laugh. I loved my cousin dearly and would miss her when she returned to Phoenix. I let out a yawn feeling fatigue creep up on me and I closed my eyes drifting off to sleep.

_The summer was over and it was my last night in Forks. Just like every year I dreaded going back to Phoenix and couldn't sleep. I glanced at the clock and it was already after midnight._

"_You awake in there?" I heard Charlie's voice outside my door._

"_Yeah, come on in." I told him and he opened the door and peaked his head in._

"_You alright honey?"_

"_Not really." I told him honestly and he stepped inside and sat next to me on the bed. He knew me well enough to know what was wrong so he didn't need to ask. He just pulled me into a comforting hug and we sat like that for awhile._

"_I don't want to go Daddy." I sounded like a toddler again and I looked up at him with sad eyes._

"_I know sweetheart, I don't want you to go either."_

"_Why did you let her take me Daddy? Why didn't you fight for me?" He looked pained at my line of questioning._

"_I tried Bells, I really did but the court gave her custody and there was nothing I could do." I nodded knowing it was the truth. "While you're gone just remember how much I love you and everything will be okay."_

"_Okay Daddy, I love you too." He kissed my forehead before getting up and heading back to his bedroom._

"_Good night." He said before closing the door and I settled under the covers waiting for him to fall asleep. It was an annual tradition for Jake to sneak into my room on my last night and it was impossible for me to fall asleep without him. Both of our fathers knew about it because Jake was always lying next to me in the morning but they didn't mind because they knew it was innocent. About an hour later I heard Charlie's snores coming from his room and there was a soft knock on the front door. I went to let Jacob in and without a word we went up to my room and climbed in the bed settling in under the blanket. I snuggled into his warmth and succumb to a peaceful sleep._

This time I was awakened by the feeling of being picked up and carried out of the car. I opened my eyes and stared into the identical brown eyes of my father.

"Dad!" I threw my arms around him in glee and kissed his cheek.

"Welcome home Bells." He chuckled sitting me down now that I was awake. I took in my surroundings and deeply inhaled the fresh air. I could smell the ocean and everything was so lush green and alive and I knew I was indeed home.

"Where is he Dad, where's Jacob?"

"I'm right here." He said stepping out of the house and the smile that I loved so much was wide on his face.

"Jacob!" I ran into his waiting arms and knew there was nowhere else I'd rather be.

"Hey Bella." He buried his face in my hair taking in my scent. His lips were calling to me but we had an audience so I restrained myself.

"I've missed you." I whispered in his ear snuggling deeper into his embrace.

"I've missed you too." He whispered back and Charlie cleared his throat and we untangled ourselves from each other. Once we separated I was finally able to take him in and boy has he changed a lot in a year. He was at least 6'4 now and his beautiful long silky hair was gone showing his prominent cheek bones. The boyish roundness had disappeared from his face and he was all toned muscle. My Jacob was turning into a man. And quite a handsome one at that.

"What are you doing here, were you visiting Charlie?" I asked since Charlie didn't know I was coming.

"Actually Amber here called me when you guys were getting close and I went to pick him up knowing he'd want to be here." Charlie explained. In my excitement I'd almost forgot Amber was here! Being away from them nine months out of the year made me miss them tremendously and it was easy to get caught up in our little reunion.

"Jake I'd like to introduce you to my favorite cousin Amber." He walked over to shake her hand but she surprised him by pulling him into a hug. I would've been jealous if she wasn't my cousin and six years old than us.

"Anyone who's so close to Bella deserves more than a handshake."

"Are you sure you two aren't sisters?" Jacob asked looking between us.

"She's gets her looks from me, sorry Charlie." Amber teased and we all laughed as we went inside. I immediately had to relieve my bladder before it burst and took the opportunity to freshen up before joining them in the living room.

"Now do you want to explain to me why Amber had to drive you here and why I didn't know you were coming? I've been calling the house in Phoenix but no one's been answering." I felt a lump form in my throat.

"I asked Amber to bring me because Mom wasn't going to let me come this year." Anger flashed in Charlie's eyes.

"She can't do that! I'll drag her ass back to court so fast it'll make her head spin." I didn't like seeing my father angry even though him getting custody of me is exactly what I wanted.

"Relax Dad I'm here aren't I?"

"Yeah but you shouldn't have had to run off with Amber and make your own way to get here."

"I'm not going back to Phoenix." He looked confused, happy, and then worried by my words.

"As much as I would like that sweetheart you have to go back or I'll be in big trouble with the court."

"No Dad you don't understand, I can't go back there."

"What happened?" He looked at me in concern and I knew it was time to tell him what I've been keeping from him all these years.

"I haven't been honest with you about everything."

"What do you mean?"

"When you would ask me how my life in Phoenix was and I'd tell you everything was fine, well I lied."

"Tell me."

"You know from experience she isn't easy to live with and things only got worse when we left. There was hardly any food or money and sometimes we went hungry for days. We would stay in bug and rodent infested houses with creepy people and I was afraid to go to sleep at night. I was glad when she found a job and we got our own place but she would blow all the money and almost got us evicted until I started making sure the bills got paid. I had to the one who cooked the meals and made sure we kept food in the house or we would've continued to starve. I missed a lot of school because I would be up all night with her while she threw up all her liquor. She drank a lot and it made her violent, she even gave me a couple of black eyes." I could see the rage on Jacob and Charlie's faces but they didn't interrupt. Amber already knew all this but it still upset her to hear it. "Things got a lot better when she first met Phil until he started showing his true colors. I knew he was a pervert by the way he would look at me-"

"What did he do to you?" Charlie could no longer keep quiet and he was so upset he had a murderous look in his eyes.

"A few days ago he grabbed me and started touching me." They knew what I meant and I didn't want to elaborate. "I got away from him and that's when I went to Amber and asked her to bring me here."

"God damn it!" Charlie bellowed and his voice was so loud it made the three of us jump. "I told them. I told that family court judge that she wasn't fit to raise you alone but the system always favors the mother. You should've told me Bells."

"I didn't know how, and I didn't want to cause any more trouble."

"I'm so sorry Bella, I feel like I've failed you. I should've fought harder for you."

"It's okay Dad it's not your fault. Just please don't make me go back there."

"Don't worry sweetheart you aren't going anywhere." He pulled me into his arms again and the dam burst. I couldn't hold back my tears and I cried until there was nothing left.

* * *

"You didn't tell me how gorgeous he was." Amber said as she was helping me put my things away. Charlie and Jake were planted in front of the TV watching a game. We planned to go to La Push once I was settled in and I was looking forward to seeing my friends Quil, Embry, Leah and her little brother Seth.

"Yeah he is beautiful isn't he? He's grown a lot since I saw him last."

"The way you two are together, I've never seen that before."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know how to describe it but he looks at you like you're the sun, moon and the stars all wrapped into one. And you look at him the exact same way." The blood rushed to my cheeks and I wished I didn't blush so much, it always gave me away. I turned to see the topic of our conversation standing in the doorway and I wondered how long he had been there.

"I'll leave you two alone." Amber said noticing us stare at each other.

"I'm your best friend, why didn't you tell me?" He asked coming over to me. He sounded hurt I would do anything for him not to feel that way.

"I knew you'd be worried about me."

"Don't I have the right to worry about you? I love you." It was music to my ears.

"I love you too Jake and of course you can worry about me but that doesn't mean I want you too. I'm here to stay so let's not talk about that right now."

"Okay." He agreed.

"When did you get so tall and-" I looked at him and the word sexy instantly came to mind. "Muscular." He laughed and I couldn't believe I didn't notice how deep his voice had gotten. His baritone sent shivers up and down my spine.

"I had a major growth spurt since the last time you were here."

"Obviously."

"Me and the guys started working out too. It's a good way to burn off my excess energy." That's not the only benefit I thought to myself. "I'm not the only one who's grown, these have gotten a lot curvier." He said placing his hands on my hips. The energy between us was electric and I thought I would combust if he didn't kiss me. Finally he put his soft lips on mine and he tasted magnificent. We soon got lost in the kiss and somehow ended up on my bed. I just had to see his body so I broke the kiss momentarily to pull his shirt over his head and marveled at the perfection before me. Our lips moved together like they were made for each other and I couldn't keep my hands off of him. His hands were all over my body as well and I let out a joyful squeal when he squeezed my ass. He let his hands linger there as we continued to kiss but I suddenly felt a presence behind me. Amber had just come upstairs and her eyes were wide.

"Charlie's right behind me." She warned us and we jumped off the bed and Jacob had to quickly throw his shirt on. As Charlie came into the doorway Jacob turned his back to us and positioned himself to make it look as if he were looking out the window. Charlie glanced at us and continued on to his bedroom and I let out a sigh of relief. I was grateful for Amber because I didn't know how Charlie would've reacted to finding me making out with a shirtless Jacob and I didn't want to find out. And thank God he thought fast and turned before Charlie saw the thick erection I felt poking against me.

"Thanks Amber."

"No problem, you two be careful alright." She gave us a knowing smirk making us both blush before she walked away.


	3. Chapter 2

**Twilight and its characters are property of Stephenie Meyer**

Chapter 2

We sat there in silence for awhile after Amber left. I didn't mind because it was never awkward between Jacob and I. We were just staring at each other and I didn't mind that either because I loved looking into his beautiful brown eyes. I had missed him so much and now I was reveling in his presence. He pulled me to him and I snuggled into his embrace wrapping my arms around him and laying my head on his chest.

"Thank God you're staying Bells. I don't think I could handle you leaving me again." He said while running his fingers through my hair and I sighed with pleasure. I never wanted to leave his side again. Hell I never wanted to leave him in the first place. It was agony being away from him for so long. I don't know if that's normal or not but I really don't care. A lot of people wondered how we stayed so close when we didn't get to see each other much but the truth was he was my other half and I knew no matter what I needed him in my life. Even over the years the distance between us hadn't lessened what we feel for each other.

"I'm not going anywhere." I couldn't resist leaning in and kissing his gorgeous lips. The way he kissed me made my lips quiver and his touch sent waves of pleasure through my whole body. Now that I was finally here with him I realized it was no longer a question if I was in love with him or not, I definitely was. Jacob was it was for me, no one could take his place. I didn't need to date other people to figure out what I wanted or to find the right guy, everything I could ever want or need was already in front of me. He pulled away before things got out of hand again and as much as I love Amber and my Dad I really wished we were alone right now. He grinned at me knowing what I was thinking.

"I want you all to myself too, later I promise. But for now everyone's waiting for you at Leah's."

"Really?" I was excited about seeing our friends I had missed them too, especially Leah and Embry.

"Yeah I told them I would bring you back with me."

"Okay let me shower and change my clothes and I'll have Amber drive us." I grabbed an outfit and fresh towels and headed to the bathroom. The hot water pouring on my skin was so refreshing and it felt wonderful on my stiff muscles. After I was good and clean I dried off and applied lotion to my skin so it wouldn't dry out. I dressed and brushed out my hair deciding to let it hang loose to air dry. I wasn't big on makeup I just applied some facial moisturizer and mascara. My lips felt dry so I put on my favorite lip balm and when I left the bathroom I could hear Charlie downstairs talking to Jake.

"Don't think I can't see what's going on between you and Bells. I'm not surprised, Billy and I have expected this for a long time. I would give any other guy the third degree but I know you respect her and I trust you. But I remember what it's like to be your age and when it comes to my daughter you better think with the head that's on your shoulders and not the one between your legs you understand me Jake?" I cringed and I'm pretty sure Jacob did too.

"Yes sir." He said and I chose that moment to come downstairs and Jacob looked relieved to see me.

"Dad we're going to La Push for awhile is that okay?"

"Yeah of course, just be back before midnight." I grabbed Jacob pulling him outside.

"Did you hear any of that?"

"Just the end I think, what did he say to you?"

"He thinks we're dating." He said it as if it was the most ridiculous thing in the world and I could feel myself frown. The way he was just kissing and touching me, did it not mean anything to him? "What's wrong?"

"Jacob what is this?" He looked at me in confusion. "I mean us! What is going on between us?" He opened his mouth and it looked like he was going to speak but nothing came out so I continued. "We can't even be alone anymore without making out but you still act as if we're just friends. I can't do it anymore Jake." I turned to walk away but he grabbed my hand pulling me back to him.

"You think I don't want to be with you? Bells you are so much more to me than just a friend-" He stopped as we both heard the front door opening and Amber came outside. Oh well I guess we'll just have to finish this conversation later. I gave him a small smile to let him know I wasn't angry with him.

"Hey Amber do you mind taking us to La Push?"

"Not at all let's go." We piled in her car and Jacob gave her directions to the reservation. I was excited to be back in La Push and was nearly bouncing in my seat as Amber pulled up to the Clearwater's house.

"Holy shit who knew Bella had a twin? At first I thought that was you in the driver's seat!" Quil said as we got out the car.

"No asshole this is my cousin Amber." I responded playfully punching him in the shoulder and he pulled me into a hug. "It's good to see you again too Quil." I looked over Quil's shoulder to see Embry pouting at me and I laughed pushing Quil away and going over to hug him. Embry and I have always been close and I did have a soft spot for him.

"Hi Em."

"Hey Bella, welcome back."

"Thank you." I smiled and kissed his cheek and he blushed. Embry and I had a lot of things in common, our easy embarrassment and frequent blushing being one of them.

"Hey hands off my man Swan." Leah Clearwater was my only girlfriend other than my cousin and I was always happy to see her. She stood there with her hands on her hips and a playful smile on her face. She looked like a bronze goddess and it seemed like she grew more beautiful every time I saw her.

"Hey girl!" I hugged her and Seth and introduced everyone to Amber. Quil was instantly smitten and I had to tell him several times that she wasn't interested in jail bait. Soon Jacob took the guys to the beach to play football leaving Leah, Amber and I to talk.

"I have something to tell you." Leah said enthusiastically and I knew whatever it was it had something to do with her and Embry. She only got this excited if she was talking about him. They've been dating for two years now and anyone with eyes could see how much they cared for each other.

"Spill." She looked nervous and I knew it must be a big deal because it took a lot to humble Leah Clearwater.

"We did it." She said and I felt my eyes widen.

"I need details!"

"Well it definitely wasn't planned, not by me at least. My mom was out with Billy and Charlie and Seth was over at Brady's so it was one of those rare times when I had the house to myself. So Embry shows up looking good enough to eat and we started making out. It got pretty intense and next thing I knew I was naked underneath him on the couch. Normally I wouldn't have let it go that far but there was no one there to disturb us and it just felt right."

"How was it?" I was hanging on her every word and I felt like a person who was watching a movie that had them on the edge of their seat.

"He's pretty big so it hurt like hell, even though I think it would've hurt anyway. But other than that it was perfect, Embry's amazing." She gushed like the love sick teenager she was but I was still stuck on the part where she said Embry was big. It was awkward picturing my friend that way.

"So did Jake finally ask you out?"

"No."

"What is he waiting for?"

"I just got here Leah!"

"Yeah and what's your point? You two are only fooling yourselves if you think you can be just friends." Amber chuckled and Leah arched an eyebrow in question.

"Not long before we came here I caught them in her room practically dry humping and Jacob was sporting quite the boner." Amber explained.

"Oh God." I groaned in embarrassment and I knew I my face was as a red as a tomato.

"If I hadn't interrupted Bella would probably be sharing her own how I lost my virginity story." She and Leah shared a laugh at my expense.

"I'm not quite ready for that yet." Before I never gave much thought to having sex but today I realized just how much kissing Jacob made me incredibly aroused.

"You say that now but I know what I saw. I only left you two alone for a few minutes and you already had your tongues down each other's throats! And the way he had his hands on you, trust me you're not that far off." I was blushing again and Leah wasn't going to let me live it down.

"Oh my God, you want to don't you? You want to do Jacob."

"I um I-" I mumbled incoherently.

"Not that I blame you Bella, I mean anyone can see how hot he is." Of course I wasn't the only one who found him attractive but I never thought of the possibility of him being with other girls.

"Has he been seeing anyone?"

"You're joking right? He's so into you he barely notices other girls, and trust me it's not like they don't try. Why? Are you worried about what's he up to when you're in Arizona?"

"No." I said knowing that wasn't completely the truth. "Speaking of Arizona, I'm not going back. I'm staying with Charlie." Her face lit up and she threw her arms around me.

"That's wonderful Bella! I know how long you've wanted this."

"Yeah it's been a long time coming." We decided to walk over to first beach to join the boys and when we got there the smile fell from my face and my eyes narrowed in anger. Lilani Shaw was one of the most beautiful girls in La Push and I absolutely hated her guts. The feeling was mutual and she was always trying to come in between me and Jacob. She was resentful of our relationship and she felt like I was standing in the way of them being together. You might as well call her my arch enemy and her presence on the beach infuriated me.

"Well if it isn't my favorite pale face." She said sarcastically.

"What are you doing here Lilani?"

"I'm a member of this tribe, I live here. What are _you _doing here?"

"You know damn well why I'm here."

"He is never going to be with you! The future Chief of our people needs a strong Quileute woman, not some timid white girl."

"That's enough Lilani! You are way out of line." Jacob said and before I could stop myself I slapped her so hard it left an impression on her face. I've had enough of her. I'm not a violent person at all but we've had our share of fights over the years and it was obvious that no matter what I said she wasn't going to stop, she just couldn't let it go.

"How dare you!" She yelled about to charge at me but Leah grabbed a hold of her.

"You deserved that and you know it. You can't speak for Jacob and he sure as hell doesn't want you so get your narrow minded ass out of here." She didn't dare defy Leah so she just glared at me off and walked off.

"Don't let her get to you Bella." Jacob said to me.

"She's just jealous." Seth commented. I loved Seth he was the sweetest kid ever, he reminded me a lot of Jacob.

"Envious is more like it." Leah corrected.

"Just forget about her." I said. I was determined to enjoy being with my friends and I wasn't going to let her ruin that. We goofed around on the beach for a while and at night fall Embry and Quil lit a fire and I'd almost forgotten how beautiful first beach was at night. I was sitting next to Jacob and our earlier conversation was on replay in my head. And as much as I wanted to ignore her Lilani's words really stung. Jacob started poking me in my side and I knew he was trying to get my attention.

"Come take a walk with me." He whispered in my ear. His voice sent chills down my spine and I had to bite my bottom lip to stop my body from shivering. I looked up to see Leah and Amber smirking at me and I wish I had something to throw at both of them. We got up and Jake announced that we were leaving. I told Amber that he would bring me home and we hurried off before the snickering began. We took off walking towards his house hand in hand and once we were alone again I was nervous and had to calm myself down before my palms got sweaty. Stop being ridiculous, I told myself. This is Jake, I've never been nervous around him my entire life.

"Bells you must know how I feel about you. You're the only girl I can see myself with. But you were always coming and going and I was afraid that once high school was over you wouldn't come back anymore." How could he think something like that? Didn't he know I much I loved him, how much I needed him?

"I will always come back to you Jake." We had just arrived at his house and I wanted to go inside to say hi to Billy but it was almost ten and I knew he was asleep. Jacob led me to the garage and we had so many memories in here I was having flashbacks to moment we stepped in. This is where we went whenever we wanted some privacy. I was glad when he chose to cut on the lamp instead of the over head light. We sat on the ancient loveseat and my mind went back to how good his lips felt on mine and I could feel my panties getting wet. Snap out of it! I kept telling myself I wasn't ready to go all the way but Jacob made me feel things I've never felt before, incredible things. The way my body responded to him I knew that if he started taking off my clothes right now I wouldn't stop him , I would let him have his way with me. The thought only made me more aroused and I realized I really did want him to rip off my clothes and make love to me. It was silent for awhile before he finally spoke.

"I'm yours as long as you want me. I'm ready to go there if you are." I knew he was being sincere but I couldn't help but feel like I pressured him.

"Jake you don't have to do this."

"No Bells I want to. I've been thinking about this long before we had that talk today and now that you're staying I want to show you how much you mean to me."

"What about Lilani?"

"What about her? She's nothing to me. And what she said was bullshit, you know I don't care that you're white. I'm not going to let my family's status in the tribe dictate who I be with, and besides the only person whose opinion matters to me is my Dad and he loves you." He smiled at me and I could feel my heart melt. No matter how many times I've seen it I was always in awe of how beautiful his smile was. I leaned in to kiss his lips and climbed on his lap so I was straddling him.

"You're mine now Jacob and I hate to sound jealous and possessive but I don't want you around her."

"I've always been yours Bella, feel free to be as jealous and possessive as you want." His words only made me want him even more and I grinded my hips on his growing erection and I heard him moan. I felt myself grow wetter at the sound and I knew my panties were ruined. Despite what I said earlier about not being ready I soon found myself taking off my clothes in desperation. He barely touched me yet but I was so turned on my pussy was throbbing and I needed to feel him. "What are you doing Bells? Your father will kill me." He asked trying to stop me from taking off my bra and panties.

"Forgot about my dad, this is about what I want. And damn it Jacob I want you so bad-" I could feel his hesitation falter as I continued to kiss him and I concentrated on getting him naked. His shirt was the first thing to go and my fingers were shaking by the time I went to unbutton his pants. His erection was straining against his jeans and I could already tell it was huge. I slowly unbuttoned him and lowered the zipper and his jeans feel to his ankles with a just a little pull. I've never seen one in person before but even my inexperienced eyes could see that he was hung. It was long thick and hard as a rock. It was magnificent and it made my mouth water.

"My God Jacob it's so big!" I really didn't want to feed his ego but the words left my mouth before I could stop it and I felt silly for saying it. My embarrassment soon went away as he laid me on the loveseat and removed the little clothing I had left.

"You're so damn sexy Bells." He groaned while climbing on top of me. "But are you sure about this, are you sure that you're ready?"

"Yes I'm sure. Please Jacob." I pleaded as I wiggled against his erection. His kissed me hard and passionately and trailed his kisses down my body and I gasped as his lips found a sensitive spot on my neck. I cried out in pleasure as he licked and sucked on it and I knew I was going to have a hickey. I called out his name when his tongue found my nipple and his fingers slid between my legs.

"Oh Jacob." I whimpered as he started rubbing my clit and it felt so much better than when I did it. He found the perfect rhythm and I was pulsating under his touch. He never stopped sucking on my breast and I screamed as he worked one of his long fingers into me.

"You're so tight." I felt an orgasm building inside me and it almost brought me over the edge when he lowered himself between my thighs and I felt his warm wet tongue on my clit. "You like that baby?"

"Fuck yeah." My hands were fist in his hair and I was grinding my hips against his tongue and just when I was about to explode my cell phone started to ring. I just wanted to ignore it but I knew it was getting late and it was probably my father. "You've gotten to be kidding me!" I groaned in frustration and Jake reached in my pants pocket and handed me my phone. When I looked at the caller ID I seen I was being interrupted by one of my parents alright but it wasn't my dad.

"Hello."

"Bella did you make it to Forks?"

"Yes we got here earlier today."

"You could have at least called me to let me know you got there safely."

"Like you care Mom."

"You know I care about you Bella."

"Yeah? Well you sure have a funny way of showing it."

"We have a lot to talk about when you get back here." I took a deep breath before I spoke my next words.

"I'm not coming back to Phoenix Mom."

"Like hell you're not! I have custody of you and-"

"I want to stay with Dad, you've always known that. Please don't fight me on this."

"How can you abandon your own mother, don't you love me?"

"Of course I love you, you're my mother. I'm not abandoning you, you have Phil."

"Did Charlie talk you into this?"

"Of course not!"

"I'm never going to see you again am I?" I could hear the emotion in her voice and I knew she was crying.

"I don't know. Mom I have to go." I ended the call not having anything else to say to her right now. Her tears meant nothing to me now. Where her tears when I needed her to be an adult and take care of me? Where were her tears when I needed her to be my mother and protect me from her pedophile husband? I hoped that one day I would be able to forgive her, but today was not that day.


End file.
